4 Tips to help get your child on your side and let go of mom guilt:
There is a quote by James Brown that I posted some time back that says, “Sometimes you struggle so hard to feed your family one way, you forget to feed them the other way, with spiritual nourishment. Everybody needs that.”
Our children see us on our grind but don’t understand the grind. They don’t know that it breaks your heart more than they will ever know when you miss an event because you’re out doing what you have to do to hold down the fort; whether it be via owning your own business or going to a job. All they know is that mommy or daddy can’t make it to a play, a school trip, or even a basketball game and may not be able to understand why. That can cause confusion and some behavior backlash. So, I think it is time to have the BIG talk. Go a little deeper than- “It’s not that mommy doesn’t want to go, but it’s because mommy has to go.” Talk with them and let them know why you do what you do and what your overall goals are for the family. Help them to see the bigger picture. Being upfront about your plans for the future will help reduce surprises. Here are 4 tips you may try:
-Discuss/Explain what your grind will look like and let them know about schedule changes such as- Mommy is working extra hours this week, or Mommy is working on an extra project at work so she’ll be home late. Mommy will be going to school this semester so Mommy’s time will be a little different. Mommy will be going away on a biz trip next weekend; this is what’s planned. Less surprises from you makes them feel more secure. Let’s be honest, they may not like it, but at least they know what to expect.
-Look at the school calendar together- Check out what events are going on for the month. Some events may be more important to your child than others. Help them Narrow it down to the one that is more preferred/important and see if you can make arrangements to be at that one.
-Have a back up plan-If it really isn’t possible to attend, speak with your child in advance and see how else you can spend quality time with them to compensate for missing that event.
-Have a twin-Not a real twin, but someone who can step in for you if it really is an event that they want you to participate in and you really can’t make it. That person can take all the pics and you and your child can talk about the event together later on.
How do you keep your kids involved with family planning? Feel free to comment below: